(with apologies to Ogden Nash)

Hi, everyone! And welcome to Write-Up For Yesterday, BttP’s guide to what the heck happened yesterday in baseball. We’re not gonna just hand you some scores here, because we trust you know how to type the letters E-S-P-N into your internet machine. Instead, we hope to give you a fuller and richer understanding of important goings on from yesterday in baseball. The big stories, and the noteworthy performances-good and bad.

Yesterday was April 23rd which is significant because on that date in 1999 one of my favorite baseball things happened when Fernando Tatis hit two grand slams in the same inning. The statistical probability of coming up twice in the same inning with the bases loaded seems absurd enough.  Hitting a grand slam each time should put you directly on Mt. Rushmore.  Not the silly “Hey, who would be on your ‘ska bands from the 90s Mt. Rushmore'” variety, but the actual Mt. Rushmore.  Carve him in!

A friend of mine is in Toronto taking in some baseball and other Canadian delights, and he sent me this picture:

Baseball cards vending machines!  It’s time to implement this in the States.  We could take on obesity and the “baseball is dying” epidemic with one stroke.

Moving on…

STORY LINES AND NEWS CYCLE EPHEMERA

The Cardinals beat the Nationals 4-1 in an afternoon rubber match to take the series. The Birds were propelled by another great pitching effort from Michael Wacha, more slugging from Matt “Babe Ruth” Carpenter, and a little league home run from Mark Reynolds. I was able to attend all three games of the series and snagged the Tuesday Nationals Park promotional giveaway: A Nationals stationery set. Not be a jerk, but this sucks, right?

I will say, because its perceived blandness is often noted, Nationals Park does NOT suck and is a perfectly pleasant place to watch a baseball game. I recommend it.

Kris Bryant is tall and started yesterday’s game vs. the Pirates in center.  The masses were intrigued.  (In case you missed it, Jeff Sullivan of FanGraphs penned a wonderful piece on Bryant on Wednesday.) The Cubs bullpen let the game get away late and the Pirates won 5-4. They split the four game series.

Giancarlo Stanton ripped a line drive home run which barely cleared the left field wall in Philadelphia (the Marlins beat the hapless Phillies 9-1).

According to Statcast, the ball would have traveled from Louisville to Chicago in just under three hours, and at its maximum height would have hit Kris Bryant in the forehead. (I realize he’s only 6’5”, but it seems the mob has spoken on this one and he’s now forever very tall.)  But how about that Stanton home run? Reminds me a lot of Mark McGwire’s number 62.

The Angels only sent a total of 28 players to the plate yet managed to beat the A’s 2-0 on a two-run home run from Kole Calhoun.  It was the Angels’ only hit of the game.

Bartolo Colon hilariously chased down A.J. Pierzynski.

And here’s a snapshot from the Royals’ daily fight.  Last night they invited the Chicago White Sox.

Yes, Yordano Ventura was involved. I have a feeling there’s a family in Bridgeport that’s particularly fired up about this one. The actual game is pretty good; 2-2 in the top of the 12th as I type this, but I’m still going to bed. (KC won 3-2 in 13 innings — night owl ed.)

TWEETS WE LIKED

There's no "I" in luggage "@ArdenZwelling Jays head out on 10-day road trip tonight. That's Russell Martin's in front pic.twitter.com/P0XNitUNwB

— Quad-A Player (@QuadAplayer) April 23, 2015

Albert Pujols hit .346 with a 1.085 OPS in his first 28 MLB plate appearances. Kris Bryant is batting .409, 1.143 OPS over his first 29 PA.

— Drew Silva (@drewsilv) April 23, 2015

Watched the Roayls/White Sox brawl; can't wait for someone to try and argue there's an unwritten rule against hitting a comebacker.

— Emma Span (@emmaspan) April 24, 2015

@erikmal @CespedesBBQ pic.twitter.com/NqNs4Ij4Gk

— Mollie Galchus (@molliegalchus) April 23, 2015

ARTICLES WE LIKED

Nicolas Stellini explores an improved Shelby Miller.

Ben Lindbergh tracks early trends in 2015.

Craig Edwards takes a look at BttP favorite Jason Marquis’ increased strikeout rate.

Jonah Keri inevitably puts an end to the Mets’ win streak by writing about them.

TODAY’S THREE BEST PITCHING MATCHUPS

Danny Salazar (CLE) vs. Shane Greene (DET), 7 et

Salazar has a 3.00 ERA which is nearly eight times worse than Greene’s.

Dallas Keuchel (HOU) vs. Scott Kazmir (OAK), 10 et

Two lefties having strong Aprils go head-to-head. Dallas pitches for Houston. Scott is from Houston.

Zack Greinke (LAD) vs. Andrew Cashner (SD), 10 et

Greinke has let his locks flow this season, in a manner more befitting for a dude named Zack. He’ll take his primo 1.83 ERA up against the Pads, kicking off a series between the NL West’s best. Get stoked for this one.